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to, myg
i will give you old love, he says. the kind that people keep in trinket cases and lockets on a chain. the kind that whistles out of a juke box.
i tell him, but my love isnt, my love’s cheap.
my love sells itself in convenience store, that kind of love people saw in snack shelf, cheap beers yogurt cola refrigerator, in two open bags of chip. In sharing earphones between our different taste of music. there is my love in your studio couch, cheap science fiction flick on your favorite Netflix that oozes fluorescent green light on the curves of your collarbone.
you told me once you’d give me old love. i told you id give you love from back then in 2000’s, when everything was either plastic or neon, old and cheap.
i’ll give you cheap love, you gave me old love.
“That doesnt make sense you dumb” he said.
“I know i am” “and its okay”
I’ve spent 4 years yearning, until i found you.
I hope its not too late
For becoming the flower in the most beautiful moment in my life, Thank You So Much.
She and Yoongi used to be so closed, shit happened, they parted ways. She picks up Yoongi’s bad habits; smoking, drinking, hooking up, etc.
one day they crossed path, Yoongi is a fine man, She is a rebel. Yoongi asked what changed her, She said: its him, heartbreak changed her.
Its not that i dont love him much, i guess, for us, learn to love our own self first are more important. well he’s still part of the most beautiful moment in my life and will always be, you dont need to worry.
are you calling me a sinner?
“그 때 나한테 왜 그랬어?”
“미안”
I always measure my distance so that I don’t get closer than necessary… so that nobody can get closer than necessary. Keeping at a distance is self-isolating. Keeping at a distance is lonely. It was survival strategy. I lived like a fenced-in horse. I survived that way. And I will survive that way.
I had to keep my distance.
I’m afraid again. The coward inside me that closes her eyes and swings her fist might hit someone. I may not be as good person as I think I am, and that scares me.